Giving this Christmas

Our girls are the perfect age for Christmas. They get so excited to see our elf moving around the house each morning. The Christmas morning surprise to see that Santa ate cookies and brought gifts literally had Carmen singing and jumping around the room. 

The past few years we've had a problem with buying too many things for the kids. We want to be able to give them everything they want but realized that we really shouldn't. Teaching disappointment is a valuable lesson. Don't get me wrong, they still have an amazing Christmas, but we really try to keep the gifts from us to a minimum now. Here is how we approached the holidays this year.

1. We changed our approach to giving gifts to the kids

2. We wanted to teach that giving is just as fun as receiving

3. Enjoy giving to others

4. You have to earn the extra stuff

Our new approach to presents

This year we adopted the something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read concept but we also added in a craft. What I found so valuable this year when buying gifts was buying them in categories. This way I didn't buy the girls so many toys. They really only received one toy from Jeff and I. 

Giving is as much fun as receiving

Now that the girls are old enough, I had them give gifts to each other. I went shopping with each of them individually and we spoke about what the other would most enjoy to open on Christmas morning. They both put a lot of time into their choices and it was fun seeing them give each other their presents. In fact I think they like those presents the most.

Giving to others

Fleetridge does something special for the holidays. They ask if families can help giving to those students at school whose parents can't afford presents at Christmas. What I enjoyed about helping with this, is that Carmen realized that there are kids just like her who need extra compassion. Instead of adopting a family where we didn't know anything about them, we knew that these kids went to school with her. She and I took a shopping date to Target to hopefully brighten some holiday mornings. She loved it and started to understand that she is lucky to have the family she does. 

Earning the extra stuff

Since we didn't buy the kids everything they want, I remind them that they can earn money to purchase those things themselves.  Believe me when I say it is an internal struggle to not go purchase the extras but I believe that you can work for what you want even at a young age. In fact today Carmen was playing with a new toy called Beados. She already used all the beads in one day and needs more. As easy as it is to go spend $10 on more beads, I want her to learn that even though she wants more right now she won't  get them. I told her she needs to save her chore money to get them herself. Yes, I know  it is a small example but it hopefully small lessons will help out in life.

Here are some pictures from the holiday.

Presents Christmas morning. 

Ever After High Dolls from Lilah and Santa.

Carmen holding her Beados in front of the desk my dad got her.

Grammy and James.

Lilah was excited about everything.

This video is long but it involves singing. 

A day with the horses at the KCPD Mounted Patrol.

Loving the little things in life.

My girls love horses.  They both think they are wonderful animals. I have never been a huge fan, but watching them spend time riding is amazing.

This weekend our friend Vanessa invited us to meet her, Doug, and her daughters (also the kids babysitters) at the KCPD Mounted Patrol. Doug works there and helped the girls ride one of the horses. It was an awesome day. He was wonderful with the girls and it was definitely the highlight of the fall for them and me.

This kid was a rock star. 

In her cowgirl boots and huge smile.

I loved the rooster. 

Building traditions with pumpkins.

Family traditions mean so much.

Every fall, I get so excited to take the kids to the pumpkin patch. When Carmen was one, we started taking her to the Westin Red Barn Farm. Since then we've made a bid deal out of going there each year. Side note: thank you Carrie for the recommendation!

It is such an awesome thing to know we are building traditions for our children that they can look forward to us doing as a family each year. My hope for us as a family is to continue to build these traditions so that some day our trip to the pumpkin patch includes my kids and grand kids.

I love this picture so much. 

Lilah running around like the wild spirit she is.

Seriously... this kid is adorable!

Raytown. My love, sadness, and hope.

I am hoping for a light at the end of the tunnel.

Jeff and I bought our first house in Raytown 8 years ago. We both grew up here and have friends we have known nearly our whole lives here.

Growing up there was an influx of people moving to Raytown for its proximity to downtown and the great schools.

Over the past few years most of the people who lived in Raytown have started moving to other parts of the city,  the scores for the schools have gone down, businesses have closed, crime has gone up, and the home prices have fallen. It is so sad to me. I remember when the Raytown Police had nothing better to do than break up our parties at Wildwood Lake.

Instead of leaving, Jeff and I have stayed. He works for the school and feels compelled to make an impact teaching in the district. We spend our money with local businesses and invest in our neighborhood. 

It has been harder and harder to keep a positive outlook on my favorite place. The YMCA closed so we can't take our kids to swim lessons any longer, there are vacant buildings throughout the city and I keep hearing horrible news about crime close to home. I feel like we have come to a point where Jeff and I need to decide if we are going to leave or keep investing in this town and believe it can change.

I very much love this town.  I love the history and the history I have here. My favorite part of living here is the small town feel with no streets over a few lanes wide and the undeveloped parts with farmland and animals. I love the teachers we have at our local preschool and the teachers at Carmen's elementary school.  I enjoy the diversity of the city and that my kids will learn to appreciate everyone no matter their race or economic status. I have another reason for hope. We have a mayor who is trying to revitalize the city and a school district superintendent trying to turn around the schools.

Why am I writing this long story?  I guess I am trying to remind myself why I enjoy this place and I hope any of my friends who are still here will think hard before abandoning the place where we all grew roots. We can only make this town stronger by sticking around and investing here.

Will we eventually move? I am not sure. We have a dream to have acreage and a place a little more secluded. Can we do that here? I am not sure. But I am sure that while we are here, we are going to try and make as much of an impact as possible to see this place rebound and have a great reputation again.

Choosing happiness.

Choosing your attitude. I'm trying to teach Carmen and Lilah that their attitude is their decision. 

A few nights ago, I was trying to get Carmen to read a picture book for class. I asked her to turn the tv off and WWIII started in my house. A huge open mouthed cry.  I've been trying to figure out how to teach her that we don't have to have a huge reaction to tiny things. If she always cries like she is going to die, I'll never know if something is really wrong. It's all about choosing your own reaction.

Along the same lines, I am trying to teach her that she needs to empathize with others and understand social cues. Maybe I am pushing too hard but I want her to understand that everyone has feelings, even the person who takes her order when we are out. Taking a little extra time to say please and thank you when ordering are small things that can make a huge difference in the way someone perceives you. I always make it a point to say "have a great day" to the barista or ask the person fixing my phone how their day is.

As parents we put a lot of pressure on our selves to raise perfect children. I know I am not perfect and my children won't be, but I'd love to give her the backing to be as perfect as she wants to be.

James is getting so big!

Matching outfits from grammy.

This girl makes me laugh ... often!

Coming clean to our pediatrician. Co-sleeping and why I do it.

Finally with the third kid, I came clean to our pediatrician. I co-sleep with my baby.

First let me say, I love our pediatrician. She is amazing and supportive. 

I had taken James to the doctor because at night I could hear that he was having acid re-flux problems. When I was describing when and how it sounded, I fessed up to the naughty co-sleeping. If you have a baby or have had a baby, you know your doctor asks about sleeping arrangements. I've always lied and said our baby sleeps in their own bed. I just didn't find it relevant enough to have a conversation with my doctor around my choice as a mom. 

I completely believe in sharing a bed with my babies. I've read a lot of articles around the pros and cons of it and I believe that you are more in tune with your baby, their breathing, sleeping and heart rate when you co-sleep. To each their own on this subject though. Parenting is full of choices and everyone makes their own decisions on what is best for them.

Why am I writing about this? Last night I tried to have James sleep in his crib and it broke my heart. He woke up every few hours and neither of us were happy about it. So tonight as I write this he is back in my bed getting some love and snuggles from me. 

There is no better feeling than snuggling with your kids no matter the age. Carmen and Lilah both love to snuggle and I hope they never get too old for it. 

All of us snuggled in bed watching a movie.

First day of school.

How am I the mom of a kindergartner?

First day of school.
Me: "Carmen wake up! It's your first day of Kindergarten! Aren't you excited?"
Carmen: "Go away. I'm tired."

That pretty much sums up her enthusiasm for Kindergarten. Yes she was excited, but not nearly as excited as I thought she should be. Womp womp.  But as the same time I was so sad. Time goes so quickly. I had a hard time going back to work and I think it was in large part because each of our three kids are hitting these huge milestones. Carmen in kindergarten, Lilah in preschool, and James is growing faster than I want.

So I have a huge confession. I was a helicopter mom on her first day. I waited with her to see her get on the bus and then drove to the school to see her get into her classroom. I was even that crazy lady taking pictures from the hallway. I need to apologize early to James. I can't imagine the crazy mom who will await her last child starting school.

 Lilah loves jumping in Carmen's pictures.

Seriously Mom please stop taking pictures. 

My creeper from the hallway picture.

Lilah turned 3.

My sweet Lilah Jean turned 3!

Lilah had a wonderful day. It just so happened that on her birthday the school had a clown, face painting, and a balloon guy. Taking her out for her birthday dinner and giving her presents were just icing on the cake.

To my blonde headed girl,
The past 3 years with you have been an adventure. I love watching your spunky self running around the house (typically in just your undies). You are sweet, adventurous, and love taking risks.

I am excited to see what type of young lady you will become. I know that whatever route you go, it will be full speed ahead. 

What a week.

Missouri - Arkansas - Louisiana - Mississippi - Tennessee - Alabama. We conquered all.

This past week we drove to Gulf Shores, Alabama with my dad and our newly expanded family of five. Truth be told, I thought I may have lost my mind even thinking about packing up our family and driving 15 hours to the beach. This was however one of the best weeks we have had as a family. There were so many memories made and I can't describe the smiles that were plastered on the girls' faces when they ran to the beach each day.

There were three big things that stood out the most to me this past week.

1. The love and devotion my husband has for our kids. My heart melted when I watched him build sandcastles, swim in the water and go hunting for crabs on the beach with the girls. I lucked out in the husband department. It is hard to describe the feeling I got from watching them have such a wonderful time all day on the beach. I would just sit and watch them interact feeling ... complete ... mesmerized.

2. "Mom, thank you so much for taking me to the beach. Can we come every weekend?" Carmen is not one to say thank you for things we do together. She does say please and thank you, but gratefulness for the things we do for her hasn't evolved yet. By her saying thank you unprompted, I knew this was truly an unforgettable experience for her. She had this look on her face for days that showed how much she loved the water and the beach.

3. I have an amazing father and I am so happy that my kids love him just as much as I do. Even before we left for GA, the girls loved spending time with my dad. He is amazing and takes them to movies and on little dates. Spending a week with their grandpa was just icing on the cake for them. He swam with them, taught Carmen to ride the waves with her swim board, and snuggled James at every opportunity. I love seeing them build a relationship with someone I have adored since I can remember.

This isn't the best picture of the girls, but you can see how much Lilah adores her sister.  

The last day we were there, I caught the girls snuggling in the chair together. This is RARE!